...sigh...

I received an email from my editor, Len, today with some remarks regarding my recent post. Before I get into details I thought I would clarify something. This blog is for our families who live far away and are unable to see us as often as we all would like it. It's for our friends so that we can share our lives with them. It's for Klaudia if she ever feels like looking back into her past, and for me to share what's on my mind.

In his email Len wrote that it looks like I bragged about the research I had done on vaccines, and yet I didn't know anything about the H influenza B shot when visiting our new pediatrician's office last week.

I'm glad he pointed it out because bragging about the research was the last thing I wanted to do. First of all, anything that I've read is thanks to Len and our friends; since having K, I don't have time and energy to look into the latest on anything including vaccines. So, Thank You to everyone who has sent /recommended books, CDs, articles, etc. When I first started looking into vaccines I was appalled with some facts and made sure that everyone around us knew about them. I soon learned that a lot of people are as passionate about vaccinating as I was about not vaccinating. I learned to accept that, and I don't share my views on this touchy subject any more. When I write about this in my blog, it's because it's on my mind, but i don't expect anyone to like it, agree with it, or comment on it if they don't feel like it. And, the last thing I would ever want to do here is to offend someone!

The point I'm trying to make here is that when I say that I've done research on vaccines I think I'm trying to defend our decision. We've received harsh comments from friends who somehow believe that with our decision we're hurting not only K but also kids around us. We've been asked not to expose K to some children, which was so painful to hear. And even though it's hard to even write about it, sometimes it feels like some people are waiting for a disease to strike K to be able to say: "See, we told you."

Len and I did our job finding out what the diseases and vaccines are all about. I personally talked to a mother whose 4-year old daughter died after having received a routine shot at the doctor's office (she had two other children after that - never vaccinated them, and while they are both teenagers, they've been healthy to the point that they never missed school). The decision we've made is an educated decision, not an experiment we're trying to do on K. We're parents who just like others are trying to protect our baby the best way we can.

If one truly believed in his heart that something may harm his baby, would he give it to her voluntarily, or would he do his best to protect her from it?